15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Texas

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15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Texas

As much as we love the great state of Texas, even those of us who have lived here our entire lives can admit it has some shortcomings. I mean, the food is so delicious that being overweight is basically inevitable, the sheer amount of beautiful natural wonders is overwhelming, and we’re all trapped here because every other state sucks. Texas is just awful, right y’all? Here are 15 reasons why you should avoid moving to Texas at all costs.

1. In the winter, getting dressed in the morning will be a struggle.

Texas Heat Meme

Parka and boots or a tank top and shorts? Only Mother Nature knows.

2. And in the summer, it gets a little bit humid.

Dogs in Texas


Don't bother getting your hair done if you plan on leaving the house.

3. You'll stick out like a sore thumb.

Y'all Whataburger


No matter how good of an actor you think you are, us Native Texans can smell a transplant a mile away. Especially if you let "you guys" slip out accidentally.

4. The urge to eat everything in sight will be too hard to resist.

Texas Barbecue


Barbecue, Whataburger, fried EVERYTHING...you can kiss your diet goodbye.

(Cont'd Below)

Houston Shirts

5. A trip to the grocery store sometimes turns into a two-hour ordeal.

Houston Traffic


Highway or parking lot? You decide.

6. The metal part of the seat belt turns into a weapon during the summer.

Seat Belts in Texas


Handle with extreme caution.

7. You might have to wait behind a horse or two in the drive-thru.

Horses at Whataburger


Yes, this really did happen.

8. You might get listeria from Blue Bell because you won't stop eating it during a recall.

Blue Bell Ice Cream

Flickr/Randy OHC

Our self control does not extend to Blue Bell.

9. You'll get too full from chips and salsa to even think about touching your meal.

Chips and Salsa

Have y'all noticed yet that most of these reasons involve food?

10. Touching your steering wheel is as good as putting your hand on the stove in the

Texas Heat

Better get some gloves! Or just use oven mitts - they get the job done too (not speaking from personal experience or anything).

11. There are SO MANY THINGS TO DO that you won't know where to start.

Hamilton Pool

1 comment

  • Ellen Kennedy

    Another reason not to move to Texas is the voting registration laws. Draconian!

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